Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize