Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
