I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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