I just made out with a guy for $7.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
