i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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