If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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