what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
