Say something about gay babies.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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