Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this hospital has no fireball
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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