Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
