can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
