He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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