i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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