Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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