She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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