Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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