So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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