So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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