so explain again why im purple
no
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
