Nicole vs. Life
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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