Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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