you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he thought i was a dude.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
