So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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