Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
