i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
