If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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