HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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