Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did I show you my penis last night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
