i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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