people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
