definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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