yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
