whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My first STD was from a foam party
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
