Soap is not a condiment
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
did you just send me my own nude
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
