you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
