so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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