you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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