Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
