Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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