So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
