Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
