That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
