Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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