I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
