I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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