how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
