everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drake has all the answers
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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