Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
