He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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