Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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