In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
