You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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