what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize