I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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