I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
