Just mADE A PArabola og urine
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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