dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
