I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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