Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
