You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
