left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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