Me too!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
