She's the barista slut.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
