that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
