just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
