My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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